do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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