hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
