He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I will pee on everything he values.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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