Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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