Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
