why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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