oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
