Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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