The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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