what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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