clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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