they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I fill condoms, not promises.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
