Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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