That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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