now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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