tonight lets celebrate not being married
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
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Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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