She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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