Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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