he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
