peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize