I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
