Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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