Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
