Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.