How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
