Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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