Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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