You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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