Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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