ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
