Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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