i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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