Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.

Fav 20 1427 4686
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.

Fav 21 800 3766
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;

Fav 82 1069 4596
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.

Fav 22 1734 7769
share tweet
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

Fav 6 5732 1019
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

Fav 13 9738 1439
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go

Fav 2 3152 1005
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.

Fav 1 675 439
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.

Fav 0 367 185
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT