Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels

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  (703): i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels http://tfl.nu/aed7
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look

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  (925): he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look http://tfl.nu/dco3
  Replies (34) Good night (914) Bad night (2587)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial

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  (567): i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial http://tfl.nu/1q06
  Replies (26) Good night (829) Bad night (4019)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn

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  (520): Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn http://tfl.nu/666p
  Replies (20) Good night (6861) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

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  (316): i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight? http://tfl.nu/82sl
  Replies (73) Good night (9956) Bad night (2375)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style

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  (917): so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style http://tfl.nu/9r5x
  Replies (39) Good night (13002) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

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  (336): He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth" http://tfl.nu/505h
  Replies (11) Good night (3775) Bad night (2247)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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  (803): If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right? http://tfl.nu/9kx0
  Replies (22) Good night (4424) Bad night (1789)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma

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  (479): I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club... (1-479): I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma http://tfl.nu/vhqd
  Replies (23) Good night (1080) Bad night (3613)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out

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  (418): I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out http://tfl.nu/dee8
  Replies (7) Good night (3510) Bad night (1820)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...

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  (219): I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break... http://tfl.nu/y0v7
  Replies (22) Good night (3547) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters

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  (517): He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters http://tfl.nu/qui3
  Replies (7) Good night (2611) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on

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  (812): Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on http://tfl.nu/glb4
  Replies (4) Good night (1586) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Parents weekend was a success.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.

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  (804): Parents weekend was a success. (973): Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success... (804): Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9gkg
  Replies (4) Good night (1782) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

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  (479): I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/32cb
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (607)

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