you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house