But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now