Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you didnt know i had herpes?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
