Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
