he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
FUCK WHALES
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
