Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
false alarm, still single
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
