Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is Oprah even human
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
