Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So here I am, sexting at work.
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