OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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