i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And then he peed in my hair
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
