is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
