what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
