nut hugger
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
