we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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