he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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