how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
