I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
im six kinds of drunk right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
