Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
