K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
