I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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