If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
