Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
