i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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