I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
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