i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
