The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
