there was a trapeze. enough said
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
