sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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