My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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