Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i out mim tonsoeep
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
