he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
